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gusstheelephant
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Name: Tim
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Metro: Dayton
Birthday: 11/18/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: First and foremost, I am a believer in the one true God, I Love Aggressive Inline Skating, I Enjoy Making movies, I Love playing video games w/ friends, and I enjoy building web pages. (ya I'm a Nerd)
Expertise: I own my own production company, I am the manager for an underground punk band (IHS), I know enough HTML to build my own web pages, and I am an Intermediate Aggressive Inline skater.
Occupation: Computer related
Industry: Media
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/23/2005
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A sunset… It is such a beautiful
sight to behold. When you look at a sunset and it takes your breath away, you see
the beautiful color that could only be painted by the Master Artist, it causes
one to think. When I see a sunset it causes me to reflect on how much my God
really cares for me. But when I see a sunset now, it seems so much more
beautiful that it ever possibly could have 8 month ago. The breathtaking things
in life that we often take for granted.
As I reflect on the events the have
come to pass since I came to college, I am left awestruck. There are no words
that can describe the things I see. This first year of college, I have been
through so many things. I have experienced almost every type of emotion in one
way or another. Joy, Pain, Hope, Anger, Love, Confusion, excitement, heart brokenness,
inspiration, fear, passion, stubbornness to let go, comfort, Hate, compassion.
The list could go on for a while. All this has come about through three separate
(yet some how connected) circumstances. Each of these alone has been enough to
bring me to my knees in tears. They have made me doubt so much inside myself
and around me. And they were all happening at the same time. I have been
through so much unbearable pain because of these things. Some of you know a
little about one of the situations or another. They have literally caused me to
consider dropping out of college to sort through them. There is only one thing
that I can say to sum up all the pain, the confusion, the brokenness, and the aloneness…God
is Good. I look back at this school year, and honestly, it has been the hardest
and most painful year of my life…yet it has been the best in some regard. I see
everything that I have been through, it has been so hard and has hurt so much,
but I am coming out of it a stronger man. It is like how gold is refined in
fire. If I could choose, I would never have gone through any of it, but it has
strengthened my relationship with my God and has taught me so much about how to
be a stronger Man. The
experiences, the things I have learned, I could not have learned them without
the pain. I have had to watch my life as I slowly loose any control over absolutely
everything. It has been scary. I have not wanted to let go of some things, even
though they were already being yanked out of my hands. I thought I still had
some grip on them. Some of the things I have learned are just life experiences
and mind changes that I can’t really put into words. Some things I believe I
have done the right thing and done what God wanted me to, yet everything went
wrong. I was doing what God wanted me to, in spite of pain, and everything kept
getting worse. But I have learned that every life circumstance doesn’t always
have a “happy ending” when you are following Christ. God is not that simple. If
you believe that the Christian life is a clear cut “do what is right and life
will be great for you” then you are sadly mistaken and have a very skewed view of
the God I serve. My God does not work on the whims of man, he does not follow
our desires, even if we are doing all the right things. Let me let you in on
something you may not have realized. If you decide to turn your life, fully,
over to Christ, and live completely for him whole heartedly, life will not be
easy. But life will be fulfilling. Life will be rewarding. Life will be complete.
That is why, when I now look upon a
sunset, I see the goodness of my God in a whole new light. He is so much closer
to me than ever before. I am learning to let go of absolutely everything and
depend fully on him. That is easy to talk about, but when you think about what
that entails, it is down right horrifying. Sunsets are a reflection and a
symbol of the small things and the large things my God does for me every day. I
no longer take them for granted. He is amazing. He is my closest friend. He is
The One I Love Above All Else!
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| I can honestly say that I have never seen so much pain around me than I
have this semester. So many people that I care about are experiencing
loneliness, emotional pain, confusion, broken hearts, strife,
aloneness, abandonment, and so many other things. I have been one of
these people as well. There have been old emotional scars that have
resurfaced this semester as well as some new wounds that have caused a
lot of pain and confusion in my life.
But you know what? This
note is not being written as an account of my struggles. It is being
written and an account of God’s eternal faithfulness. I can tell you
from experience, God has not left. No matter how hurt you are, no
matter how lost and confused you may be, no matter how alone you feel,
God is still sitting right beside you with his arm around you. When I
have gotten to the point where I can’t go on, I am in so much
unbearable pain and am so confused about what to do that I start
wondering if I need to drop out of school for a year just to recover.
When I am at my absolute lowest, God gives me just enough strength to
make it through the rest of the day. It is actually an amazing thing.
It happens over and over. I get to where I feel like I can’t go on and
Christ helps me limp through the rest of the day. He has never let me
fall, ever. This is not just something that Christians talk about to
make each other “feel better.” God does not, and will not abandon us. I
don’t care how Cliché that sounds, this is truth. I serve an awesome
God! I look back over the semester and I see so many amazing things he
has done. There have been so many answers to prayer. There have been so
many people that have been answers to prayer. It blows my mind. All the
times I felt like I was absolutely alone, he never left me. I am here
telling you from experience that there is hope. I have seen thing that
are so amazing that I can’t explain them. I have experience peace that
is beyond description. No human language holds words that can explain
what God has done for me. That is what allows me to be feeling absolute
Joy and comfort in the middle of absolute pain and confusion. There is
no way I can really explain it. Please do not fall into the rut that I
have so many times. Do not think that you suffer alone. Christ suffers
with us. Life is pain! (anyone that tells you different is trying to
sell you something) But that pain does not have to be carried alone. We
are not alone! Life is a long road, filled with pain, confusion, joy,
strife, abandonment, happiness, and heart break. Don't try to travel it
alone. Let a friend help you carry your burden with you. We often don't
even realize the friends we have. And remember always Christ promised
us: “I will never leave you nor forsake you." That is a promise I can
depend on. We are not Alone! | | |
| IRISHMEN AND IRISHWOMEN In the name of God and of the dead generations
from which she receives her flag and strikes for her freedom.
Having organized and trained her manhood through her secret
revolutionary organization, the Irish Volunteers and the Irish Citizen
Army, having patiently perfected her discipline, having resolutely
waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that
moment. And. Supported by her exiled children in America and by gallant
allies in Europe, but relying in the first on her own strength. She
strikes in full confidence of victory.
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S
DAY!! This is the first couple of paragraphs in the Irish proclamation
of independence from British rule. I thought it would be cool to start
off my St. Patty’s Day post.
I have been thinking about a few
things though. Like most American holidays, St. Patrick’s day is
nothing more than a mass of commercialization anymore. It is all
shamrocks, cute leprechauns, and excuse to get drunk. What is the
holiday really supposed to celebrate though? Should it be a day to
support the Irish culture and history? After all, everyone is Irish on
Saint Patrick’s Day. Well if that is the case, should we hear a lot
about the suffering of the Potato famine and how, as a result of that,
many Irish came to America which shaped our own culture immensely? If
the holiday was about Irish history, should we hear about how Patrick
Pierce read the proclamation of separation for Great Brittan in 1916 on
the steps of the post office in Dublin? Shouldn’t we know about how he
was held in Kilmain Jail and then executed for his stand for freedom?
Should we hear about the struggle to unify Ireland as a 32 county
nation today?
Is Saint Patrick’s Day supposed to celebrate a man
who was willing to give his life to bring the message of God to a pagan
land? That would make the most sense to me (seeing as the day is named
after him). So if this is the case, why does no one know the story of
Saint Patrick? That is one of my favorite stories. It is a story of
someone who was kidnapped as a kid and forced to live as a slave in a
very pagan land. Saint Patrick left the land after many years. He
learned in the church and became a leader in the catholic church. He
later went back to Ireland in order to bring the message of Christ to
this land.
My favorite story of Saint Patrick is the story of his
Easter bonfire on the Hill of slane. The people would always light an
Easter bonfire on the Hill of Tara to worship their own gods. On the
Easter of 433AD, St. Patrick lit his own bonfire on the nearby hill of
slane in protest of the pagan worship. This doesn’t seem like much to
us, but this was basically declaring war on the druid king of Ireland.
St. Patrick knew the consequences of what he was doing. He grew up as a
slave in the druid culture. He knew perfectly well that his actions
meant that he would be captured and killed according to the Brehon Law.
King Laoghaie soon sent a group of warriors to capture St. Patrick and
his followers. They were taken to the Hill of Tara to answer to the
king. While they were traveling to the Hill St. Patrick recited this
prayer which is now known as either the Faed Fiada, or the hymn of St.
Patrick’s Breastplate.
I bind me to-day,
God's might to direct me,
God's power to protect me,
God's wisdom for learning,
God's eye for discerning,
God's ear for my hearing,
God's word for my clearing.
God's hand for my cover,
God's path to pass over,
God's buckler to guard me,
God's army to ward me,
Against snares of the devil,
Against vice's temptation,
Against wrong inclination,
Against men who plot evil,
Anear or afar, with many or few.
Christ near,
Christ here,
Christ be with me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ within me,
Christ behind me,
Christ be o'er me,
Christ before me.
Christ in the left and the right,
Christ hither and thither,
Christ in the sight,
Of each eye that shall seek me,
In each ear that shall hear,
In each mouth that shall speak me-
Christ not the less,
In each heart I address.
I bind me to-day on the Triune-I call,
With faith in the Trinity-Unity-God over all.
When
the group got back to the Hill of Tara, St. Patrick had to face the
Druids and the King for his crime. This is where St. Patrick used the
famous analogy of the shamrock to explain the trinity to the king.
Because of Saint Patrick, Christianity was allowed to be spread across
a very pagan land. Let Us never forget what God did through Saint
Patrick at The Hill of Slane.
That is why I celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day!
Happy Saint Patrick's day everyone!
 
Saint Patrick on the Hill of slane
Hill of Tara
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| I have to say. today has been the best day that I have had in months. Not merely because of the beautiful weather (thought that was a major contributor). I got to spend the entire day (aside from classes) hanging out with friends and catching up after spring break. I was able to completely forget everything that has been going on in my life. God knew that I needed a day like this to refresh my spirit (that sounds funny, but it is true). After classes I finished up some homework and then got transfer meals for the hive for lunch. I ate outside with a lot of friends. Earlier tonight I was relaxing and playing my concertina outside in front of my unit and a guy who heard it came and asked if I wanted to jam with him and a whole group of people. We played for about an hour and then they started discussing starting up a Irish punk band next semester for fun  . I hope that gets started.
Something really struck me in Video technical training. We went over a lot of camera, lighting, and editing terms and techniques. I don't know what triggered this, but I got an overwhelming sense of certainty about the field I'm going into. I got a huge feeling that I am in the field I want to go into and the field that God want me in. I can't really explain it. Directors for movies have the power to, and are responsible to, manipulate the emotions of people. That might sound funny to some people. A good director can make you laugh, cry, be scared, be angry, and be worried when he wants you to. Just think how you react to well made movies when you watch them. I was realizing that I want to learn how to use that kind of power. I want to be able to make people feel what I want them to feel in oder to show a point. Film is an extremely powerful tool. It can be used to accomplish good or evil. I want to use the gifts that God has given me to impact people for good.
St. Paddy's Day is coming up on Saturday! I can't wait. I've definitely felt the Irish pride in me coming out this week So in that case I will leave you with this Irish blessing:
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
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| I do not wander in a fog fill field of confusion. I walk
along a carefully planned route. Though I may not be able to see my way in this
darkness. Though I may walk through the deepest of bogs, the roughest terrain,
and the steepest slopes, I do not wander. This darkness engulfs me. The rocks
along this path cause me to stumble. The steepness of the paths, on which I
walk, brings me to my knees. All I can do is crawl along. Yet as I trudge
through the bog, the haze hinders my sight and plays tricks on my mind. I take
one step after another. Each step feels like I sink even deeper into the mud. I
keep trekking on. The mud rises to my waist. I can’t take another step. I cry
out for help. The only answer I hear is a faint echo of my own voice. My mind
starts racing. My heart beats faster every second. I look around franticly for
any sign of help. All I see is distant trees through the haze. Am I alone? Is
there no one?!? The mire is almost devouring my head. I only have a few breaths
left. I cry out with all that is in me. PLEASE!! HELP!!! SOMEBODY!!! ANYBODY!!!
All hope seems to fade into the fog as I sink further and my head is consumed
within the mire. I reach up for one last hope of grabbing hold of a tree
branch. All of a sudden, I feel a strong grip on my hand. A hand grabs a hold
of mine and pulls me up out of the muck and onto solid ground. As I lie there
choking and gasping for breath, I look up at my rescuer. “It…It’s you?!?” I
stand, gaping, at the one who pull me out of the mire before I drowned. It was
My Savior! My God! He looks at me with the gentleness of a warm summer day.
“Why did you not call for me?” he asks me with a sad look on his face. “I have
been here the whole time. I have walked right beside you since you started this
journey.” He looked at me and as a tear trickled down his cheek he said “I have
never left you, why did you forget me?” I stand there, speechless. The sadness
I see in his face. I had ignored him, I had forgotten about him. Yet he never
left my side. He still rescued me. He saved me when I had nothing left. I look
up at him and in my shock I manage to utter one word. “Why?” He looked at me
with gentleness like I have never seen. His eyes were like the sea after a
storm. His face was like a calm sunrise. As tears start streaming down my face,
he takes my hands and looks deeply into my eyes as if he were staring straight
into my soul. “I loved you before the foundation of this world. I came and
blazed this trail so that you may be able to make it to paradise.” He stands up
and then helps me to my feet. “Now I walk with you along this path with you so
that you will not loose your way. I am here with you till the end.” As tears
continue to stream down my face, all I am able to say is “thank you.” We walk
down the path together. Surly, many more trial awaits. Pain, confusion, turmoil
lie strewn along the path before me. But I do not walk alone. | | |
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